Kylie is 8 weeks along.
there is ONLY ONE kid in there. no twins or more for us.
She is due March 4th.
I am Crazy excited, but I do not really know how to express it.

The first doctor’s appointment was scary and boring all in one. I guess there was silliness with the scheduling. I guess doctors can take off weeks at a time without letting anyone at all know. It must be cool to be a doctor.
Focus on the doctor’s office visit really just emphasized how little I was really going to be involved in things over the next couple months. The nurses did an amazing job at building up Kylie and making me feel like I was privileged to even be in the room. I actually asked the nurse about how many times I would even be needed. I felt like she wanted to tell me that my part was already done, but instead she told me that really just for the ultrasounds. Boy am I excited.
I guess I just am trying to gain some kind of reference as to what to expect. As far as I can tell, Knocked Up is about as close as I am going to come. God help me, I am just not that funny.

I hesitate to write this too fast, but I think I should at least get this out on the table and possibly off my mind as a burden.  If parts of this don’t make sense, the just take it for my fractured reality and find some humor in it.

Kylie is pregnant. We found out last Sunday. It was the most stressfully pleasant surprise ever. I looked at the stick she had just peed on and read the easy to read instructions. It said “Pregnant II” “not pregnant I” and sure enough there was II on the display bar. I franticly counted to two on both hands about eight times. I walked out of the bathroom stunned. Kylie and I basically just looked for the other one to pull a “just a joke” moment. When neither of us said “JUST KIDDING” it sunk in that there was a new life coming our way.

When I say new life, I jokingly refer to not just a new baby life, but also the lifestyle that we lead. Holy crap things about to change. Not only because they have to, but I feel already that we look at things differently. Kylie and I are sitting looking at our finances, bedtimes, jobs, hobbies, home, cars, diets… It is all going to be different. And the crazy part is not how natural it has come, but with the speed that it has come. I watched this change happen in my younger brother. (Not my youngest brother, whom I feel would take offence at even the thought that he has kids, or would change his ways for any reasons but his own.)

The change was so drastic for him, and now I understand at least the context in why he changed his ways. But this isn’t to say that I am done with this metamorphosis. I truly believe that this is just step 1 in a very involved 18-21 year long process.

I jokingly said to Kylie that I wonder when this feeling of change would end, and when we could get back to being ourselves. Her immediate reply: “When they graduate and move out.” We sat in stunned extra silence. The hypothetical psychic fly on the wall would have encountered not only physical silence, but mental silence as well… Because nothing else could be said that could be any closer to the truth, and at the same time stun you mentally and physically.

Today, I feel very different about all of this stuff. I don’t feel contained with the responsibility, but see it as a blessing. I truly can’t wait to see the sonograms. Kylie’s sisters have been amazingly supportive, and exceptionally helpful. I have websites pulled up, and books are on the way, I should know more about birth, before long, than I ever wanted.

More later as I sink further into this new reality. I will try not to sound completely crazy as it happens.